


Prayers

by TheConsultingHunterInTheTARDIS



Series: Angsty EXO [2]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angsty Sehun, I don't know how to describe this, Like, alright cool, also, as you can already tell, but anyway, haha - Freeform, junmyeon's asleep so sehun decided to pray, maybe a week or two after, not really - Freeform, slightly hunhan, that kinda rhymed, this exo-l is bad at tagging, this is set just right after tao left, yeah - Freeform, yeppity yep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-24
Updated: 2015-10-24
Packaged: 2018-04-27 19:30:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5061142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheConsultingHunterInTheTARDIS/pseuds/TheConsultingHunterInTheTARDIS
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All Sehun wants is for his hyungs to be okay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Prayers

**Author's Note:**

> So, I was reading this profile thing, and so apparently, Sehun always prays for his hyungs before going to bed at night, so yeah... Enjoy.  
> Also, I listened to Baby Don't Cry and Black Pearl while writing this... And maybe a little bit of Heart Attack, so, if you want, you can just listen to those as you read.  
> In advance, I'm sorry if you hate it.  
> :)

Sehun glanced over at the sleeping body of Junmyeon, trying to see if he were awake.

“Junmyeon?” He got snoring in response. “Junma?” More snoring.

He sighed and sat up in his bed, blinking profusely as his eyes adjusted to the wall. If Luhan were here, he would’ve… he would’ve…

‘Well, Luhan isn’t here anymore, Sehun, you can’t depend on him anymore,’ he thought to himself, shaking his head as if trying to get something off of it.

After waiting a few more minutes, he cleared his throat and started.

“Um, hey, God, I know you’re probably busy right now, but, I would like to pray for my hyungs and I. Um, well, we’ve already lost two members, and Tao just left, and…” he trailed off, remembering the way Tao had just left them so cleanly, almost too cleanly, without looking back. He remembered the way Junmyeon’s shoulders had sagged so low that he was almost unrecognizable, his face forlorn. He’d already lost his partner in crime, Kris, and now he had lost one of the youngest as well, while also trying to help everyone with the new transitions from being a twelve member band to now a nine member band. “God, Junmyeon, he… he’s not himself. He’s tired; he can’t sleep very well at night. Sometimes, I’ll hear him cry his eyes out, and I have to pretend that I’m asleep, because then he’ll try and comfort me, when he’s the one who needs it the most. Today, the managers had to force him to take sleeping pills, because he couldn’t go to sleep and it was affecting his performance. Help him, please,” Sehun whispered quietly, glancing over at his hyung.

“Also, help Jongin, because now he’s over compensating for the loss. Always in the practice room, always dancing, trying to be perfect. Right now, he’s probably in there, giving it his all. It isn’t healthy for him, he needs rest. His body needs rest. Kyungsoo tries his best to keep him from the dance studio but he won’t stop. He just won’t,” Sehun felt the tears coming, but he couldn’t cry. Not yet. “It scares me,” he sighed. “It scares me that he’s doing this to his body, and it scares me that he won’t stop and take a break. One day his body will just give out and collapse because has given it everything it’s got, and we won’t have him anymore, and I won’t have my best friend anymore—” Sehun’s voice gave out for a moment as he just thought of the gravity of his words. He took a deep breath and went on. “Please, help him from himself, and let him rest his body. Please.”

“I don’t know what Tao’s doing, but I wish him the best. Yes, I’m angry, but I don’t wish bad things upon him. I just wish he’d given us a bit more time, to, just, cherish his existence,” He chuckled. “Every time I see something Gucci, I am immediately reminded of him, and his wonderful bag eyes, and his preteen teenage girl singing voice—” Sehun’s voice broke, and he began to cry as he laughed at his own prayer. “And his way of weaseling money out of any of his hyungs. His way of making me go change whenever we went anywhere together, because he didn’t condone “crimes against fashion.” He’s probably the reason I dress the way I do now,” he smiled nostalgically as the small river of tears found itself wiped away by his hand. “Anyway, bless him, and help him do what he loves.”

“Kyungsoo is trying his best with Jongin and the other, but he’s just become more anti-social and rarely comes out of his room. When he does, it’s only to get Jongin out of the dance practice room or to eat. Other than that, he’s retreated to his room, I don’t know if it’s to meditate, or avoid his problems, but help him, please.”

“Baekhyun and Chanyeol always seem to be trying to compensate and make us happy with jokes, even though I can tell that they’re hurting inside. They do their best to not be much of problem to Junmyeon and the rest, and make us laugh at the rare times when we’re actually all together. They are probably the only ones that keep me sane in this grieving dorm, so bless them.”

“Help Chen. Just, help him. He used to have three band mates that he spent the most of his travels with, who are now gone, and— he just really needs, just, something. I don’t know what, but, every time I see him, he just has this look of sadness in his eyes, and it’s been there since Yifan left. He looks almost, well, lost. All he has that are left of EXO-M are Yixing and Minseok, who haven’t been faring well either.”

“Yixing and Minseok are grieving. Yixing is the only Chinese member left in this band. The other three have left him alone, and he no longer has someone who he can feel culturally comfortable with. Although Minseok and Chen speak Chinese, it’s not the same. I hope he’s okay and faring well. I hope that he doesn’t leave either, because EXO needs him. We need his bright personality and his great attitude. So, help Yixing too. Also, help Minseok, because L-Luhan was his best friend and he’s been pretty quiet and upset about the whole situation, and I know he misses Luhan. I—” Sehun sighed as his shoulders sagged. “I miss Luhan-hyung, so he must miss him. They were best friends after all. So, help him, please.”

“Whatever it is Yifan is doing, help him succeed. He worked just as hard as the rest of us all those years, and so, make sure that that half of the twin towers is okay and doing well in life. Although we weren’t as close as we could’ve been, I still wish for him to do well…”

Sehun took a deep breath. “God, I— Luhan,” he said, as if that explained everything. “He— I just— I want him to be happy,” Sehun blinked rapidly, trying to will his tears away, and just as when he asked Luhan to stay, they did the exact opposite. “Even though he distanced himself in those last few weeks, and he stopped answering my phone c-c all and texts, um, I hope his career as an entertainer is going well. He’s supposed to be in this movie, and I hope that’s going well. Um, I hope he’s feeling better than I am now…”

“And finally,” he sniffled. “Myself.”

“I miss them. I miss that tall dork, I miss that Gucci Panda, and I miss Luhan-hyung more than anything. He never loved me the way I loved him. He meant so, so much more to me than a friend. H-help me get over him. Help me find someone else, someone else who doesn’t cause me this unbearable pain. I just… I want to be able to talk about him without crying,” he paused, just to let his quiet sobs take over for a moment, only to get right back to praying just half a minute later. “I want to be at peace,” he sniffed. “I want EXO to be at peace.”

“Amen.”

Sehun settled back down in bed. Another night of praying, and another day of unanswered prayers.

Such was the routine now.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you like it! I'm sorry if this caused distress to anyone, and thanks for reading. :)


End file.
